Top Ten Button Slogans

Top ten slogans for buttons to be worn by librarians:

10. Is that a barcode reader in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

9. I'm a cataloger. Please speak clearly and spell proper nouns.

8. Where's your title page, godammit?

7. I read AACR2 in bed...what do you do in bed?

6. "Cybrarian" doesn't quite cover it...I'm a WEB GODDESS.

5. Yes, I'm a librarian. No, I can't clear your overdue fines for you.

4. Stranger on plane: "You're a librarian? Oh--I have some overdue books." Librarian: "Yes...I know."

3. Please, please, don't ask me for any more books about dinosaurs.

2. Everything you've heard about librarians is true, except the part about wearing glasses and buns and being boring.

1. The American Library Association conference: 14,000 librarians in search of alcohol, sex, and cheap reference materials.

I couldn't resist. My apologies if any of these strike you as a little off-color. However, I should note that THEY ARE. What are you so afraid of? The dignity of our profession isn't going to be compromised by the idea that librarians might actually have sex. I mean, hey, you have children, don't you?

By the way, #1 isn't really completely true. For example, myself, when I go to the ALA conference, I am only looking for sex and cheap reference materials, since I don't drink. However, I have it on good account from many hotel bar managers that NO ONE drinks like the librarians, when they're in town. Seriously. Bars have to stock up for weeks.

©1/18/98 by Jennifer Friedman
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